Humans! We’re tough nuts to crack.
I suppose that’s why the psychology/psychiatry field is a multi-billion dollar industry. On the upside of life, however, we each choose how to live our lives. Some get in line behind the Jim Joneses of the world and drink the kool aid unquestioningly. It happens. With the bandwidth of the Interweb, there are now more self-professed “leaders” and lamb-like followers than one can count. Some people just want some iota of sense to believe. Others want their large egos stroked by strangers so they can live their fantasy of fame and acceptance. Still other folks live life skeptically, suspiciously. Asking questions of everything. Looking for THE answer they require. That form of skepticism holds them back in life just as blindly following puts people on a path to disaster.
There is a happy medium in life and it’s up to each of us to find that path and walk it (swerving outside the lines as needed to keep things interesting).
How, then, shall we live? Fully and completely is the best answer for me.
What does that look like? It means waking up happy to be alive. Going to bed with a sense of accomplishment. Filling every day with teaching and learning moments. Loving completely. Being a best friend. Leaning on others for help when you need it. Not hurting those around us with spite, anger and fear. Not overanalyzing your own shortcomings or puffing yourself up to a larger-than-life hot-air filled balloon. It means parenting your kids, if you have them, with your head on straight – attentive to their needs for love and to love.
My son, who is 13, spends about half his time living with me, as does his sister. He is soulful in his approach toward our father/son relationship. He has no fear expressing his thoughts and feelings. For a 13-year-old boy, he is in touch with his feelings and emotion. Unusual for many that age. Numerous times a day, out of the blue, he tells me he loves me. At first this was odd to hear. I neither heard that from my own Father more than a dozen times in my life, nor did I express that sentiment to him on a frequent basis. But my son is in touch. He lives knowing that he loves his parents and he TELLS us he loves us regularly. It’s reassuring for him after seeing his mom and I separate and divorce to express that love and feel it in return. I’m blessed to have a son who can do this and I want to perpetuate that emotional in-touchness that resides in him.
I want to live my life with a similar authenticity – an ability to be in touch with emotion and able to express it well. Purposefully and confidently. I don’t need people to psycho-analyze my social behavior. I know exactly who I am (although I don’t always know why I do what I do). I know there’s room to make improvement. I’m only 42 after all…still learning, still respecting life and the people who are in mine – even through the troughs that I’ve sunk to and the crests that I’ve ridden with a smile wide open.
I’m human. And like all of us, I make mistakes, say the wrong things, don’t say the right things the right way, struggle with confidence, jealousy or neediness, and wonder what to make for dinner. But with each error made, I’ve learned more about how, then, I will live.
I intend to live fully as each day is mine to make.
(c) ceg 2007