Archive for August 6th, 2007

Today in the St. Paul Pioneer Press, (Minnesota’s first newspaper), a reporter wrote his personal account of being bitten on the arm by an unleashed dog, whose owner promptly put the dog in a car and refused to provide a name or any other form of information.

You can read the whole story here, but the long and the short of it is the dog and owner were both scoundrels, having been recently evicted from their rental home and on their way out of the city – no doubt to escape prosecution for crimes yet to be discovered.

Dog SignThe reporter ended up with no information, no help from local police or animal control in finding the guilty dog and owner, and, ultimately, having to endure a series of rabies shots – more than a dozen shots in all during a four week period.

All because of a dog prone to biting. An animal.

And, people, while I like pets, let’s face it: Animals are animals. They have tiny little animal brains the likes of which can be trained to do incredible tricks like play dead and roll over. Couple that with their natural instincts to protect, defend and conquer the things that they feel intimidate them and things like dog bites happen. Just ask the dog caretaker of actor Ving Rhames. Oh wait, you can’t. Those dogs apparently attacked and killed their caretaker on Sunday. Brutal.

So while I like animals and respect them, I also understand that I’m human and they are…well…four-legged creatures. That places me higher up on the evolution ladder last time I checked.

To all pet owners letting their unleashed dogs run in public places: If I’m walking along the street minding my business and your dog suddenly decides I look like a bowl full of Chuck Wagon, I will do everything in my power to immediately bring doggie’s sweet and easy life to a quick end. You see I’m averse to getting multiple needle sticks in my ass and around puncture wounds caused by an animal bite. I’d much rather an autopsy be performed on your beloved animal’s tiny little dead dog brain to determine its rabidness. That’s just the price you’ll be paying.

Leash up your animals. Let’s all enjoy our pets in a world of peace and harmony, not dog attacks.



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