I sweat. There. I admit it.
I’m not a heavy sweater (thank God). A little anti-perspirant/deoderant every morning under the arms and I smell like a tulip all day. Not so for lots of folks. Take Kevin James for example (co-
star of the recently released movie, “I Now Prounounce You Chuck and Larry.” That man is a heavy sweater. OK, he’s also obese, and fat people tend to push out the perspiration in mass quantities. More mass, more water to expel.
I do like to work up a good sweat when I bike, run or do some other form of physical activity. It’s a measure of my ability to exert myself. But when I dress for work or a date or any other casual event, I’m blessed with sweat glands that don’t make me kin with the likes of Kevin James, Rodney Dangerfield or any number of political wannabes who can’t manage to keep their core temperature under control in public.
It’s rare to see a woman who persistently sweats. Females don’t seem to be capable of sitting in an air-conditioned room and perspire profusely – unless they’re running on a treadmill at the gym. I’ve known a few who can work up a nice glowing sweat given the right circumstances. It’s not the dripping kind of perspiration, rather just the surface layer that is almost sensual in nature.
These observations base themselves on an opinion piece published in the New York Times recently. Here in Minnesota, it’s unusual to see people who just live in a quagmire of flop sweat year round. As opposed to say, Atlanta, where the population spends nine months of the year surviving in temperatures above 80 degrees. Atlantans, though, have perfected the art of looking cool. They’ve adjusted to their climate. Still, the rare street crossing at high noon can produce a lot of water in their city streets.
In Minnesota though, where temps only surpass 90 degrees twice a year (usually when I’ve reserved a spot to go camping) the more hearty of us tend to bask in the rare heat that visits the state. It’s so infrequent that working outside becomes its very own mini slice of heaven on earth.
Sweating has its bodily purpose and I’m thankful our systems know when it’s time to ooze some water. But please, pay close attention to those stains forming under your arm pits and follow proper hygiene. Once done with your sweat session, don’t sit next to me before you’ve had a cool shower.
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