All due respect to Esquire magazine and its monthly celeb page titled “10 Things Men Don’t Know About Women,” but it goes both ways ladies. So indulge me for a few minutes as I share my “10 things” list. These are, I trust, things you didn’t know about the guys you’ve entrusted your lives and heart to. Only now you know…but please don’t tell anyone where you got this info!
10. When you question our ability (think: “asking for directions, plumbing a new faucet or financing the new Harley we bought on impulse,”) we immediately conclude you no longer love us. Try giving a thumbs up and a smile instead.
9. Like your shoe collection or spending $300 on your hair at the salon, widescreen flat panel displays are REALLY that important to us.
8. You know that favorite running bra you retired but couldn’t part with because it’s well-broken in and has since become your favorite thing to wear to bed and sleep in? Yeah…not so sexy.
7. When we say we had a really rough day at work, it means our boss (or our boss’s boss) failed to recognize something we thought was important. Mix us a strong drink and just listen. Don’t try to solve the problem.
6. The importance we place on smoking an expensive cigar now and then is overblown. The stench and taste make us green in the gills just like it does you. But humor us please.
5. If you know a sport really well, share the knowledge. You gain instant cred with us when you spout sports jargon like “spread defense,” or “3/2 zone.”
4. Contrary to popular belief, guys don’t have to win every debate. If you’re right, don’t give in to us. Prove yourself and we’ll raise the pedestal we’ve already put you on.
3. We may not be able to spell and define efficacy, but we notice your grammar and get turned on by the big words in your vocab. Use it liberally!
2. Part of how we size you up is by how attractive your girlfriends are. The prettier your pals, the more proud of you we’ll be. It’s caveman thinking, but 100% truth.
1. We may not ask “does my butt look fat in these pants,” as directly as you do, but we want to know if you’re losing your attraction due to increasingly large love handles. We promise we won’t shoot the messenger…much