I’d Like to Know: Parsnips

Who on the planet pulled a parsnip from the ground and thought, “Hmm. This looks good. Let’s eat!”?

Perhaps one of the ugliest of all root vegetables, parsnips are downright unappealing as a potential food item. No wonder all recommendations are to cube these suckers into small bits and cook them to death!

While they might go well in a stew, this cousin of wax-covered chalk, with a consistency of rolled up carpet, has managed to maintain its prominence in the produce section of grocery stores everywhere for…well…ever!

What’s worse, they came packaged in a bundle of six. SIX! I used three in a stew that called for two. I think I could put the balance of my parsnip inventory in a dark corner of the basement and forget them until next year – and they’d still be perfectly ready to be peeled and cooked.

The upside to parsnips come in its nutritional value. They have a great amount of potassium, although I prefer bananas during a lengthy bike ride to one of these dead clammy roots. They’re also mildly loaded with carbs.

And what nimble root veggie scientist looked at this and named it a parsnip? Did it remind him/her of a pair of nipples? Is it really pinsrap in disguise? At least the sweet potato has a meaningful name. It looks like a potato and it has a sweet taste. But “parsnip?” I’m stumped!

Coming up next, the sexuality of eggplant.

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