Like many teenagers, I had a plan…to marry my high school sweetheart, get a college degree, land a high-paying job, live in the city, and have a happy life thereafter. Like many high-schoolers my age, no one told me to have a back-up plan. So when my high school sweetheart, my first real love, broke my heart in the second semester of my freshman year, I floundered. It was the first time that I no longer mattered to someone I cared about deeply. I was no longer an option for her.
We survive the most trying of times. Heartbreak is certainly nothing we hope for or want to go through repeatedly. We get stronger. We get smarter. Some become guardians of their own heart to their own detriment. Some become afraid to put it out there. But damn, if it’s not out there how will someone find it?
While it sucks being on the receiving end, it’s kinda the same when you find yourself breaking a heart. There’s no joy in that. I’ve been on the giving end and lemme tell ya’, I’d just as soon have mine stomped then stomp on someone.
So here I am. Ready to be that someone’s something – not just an option in a playbook. I’m ready to be the “it” guy to the right girl and vice versa. I’ve made my own weather. I’m where I am because of my choices and I sleep well at night…not counting last Wednesday.
What’s it take to be “it?”
Confidence. Care. Listening. Honesty. The ability to say, “I’m sorry.” Convictions. Strength. Hope. Vulnerability. That’s just for starters.
Laurie Kendrick posted a query this week in which one of the questions she asked was, “What Is Love?” Holy smokes. Hit the link and read some of the responses. It’s telling, I think, for those who chose to answer. From a form of desparation to the brightest possible life moment – love seems to defy description. Yet we each think we know when we are in it. Still, love confuses the masses and confounds the most educated of people. There’s no right answer, by the way.
More than wealth, fame, power, or glory, we all seem to want love in our life. That tells me that even in our darkest hours, we’re not a bad bunch (not counting skinhead Nazis, perhaps). We each want to be “it,” have “it,” give “it.”
And that, my friends, hasn’t really changed since we got up from all fours and became bi-peds.
-end-
Hey Tri,
What is Love? I don’t know. That’s partly why I asked the question on my blog. I’m a sucker for love…especially in the early stages when it’s still a jolt o’joy and comparable to the free fall of a mid-flight parabolic dip in NASA’S Vomit Comet.
It’s latter stages are even more dificult to describe. Oh yeah–sure, I could say it evolves into familiarity and this comfy old shoe status but what is that really saying? Not much. It doesn’t describe the feeling. Hell, after almost a year, I still get excited when I see it’s my boyfriend calling.
Love evolves, but what it evolves into is idiosyncratic.
It is such a grand emotion: puzzling, neurotic—mind numbing and mind blowing at the same time. Love is something we all want and need but I’m not one to sit and molt my feathers in this Pollyanna-esque mindset that Love is the answer for everything.
But I do believe it’s a hell of a start.
LK
really nice one and keep it up!
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That’s a great description of new love Laurie!
Happenings in in love, Life, Marriages and Religion can not be seperated. really a thought and keep posting!
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