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Archive for January 7th, 2009

Unexplained Mysteries

Call it unexplained mysteries of the paranormal or segments from Ripley’s Believe It or Not featuring Jack Palance. Any way you slice it, I’ve been part of some unusual events in recent weeks that I can’t explain in full. Is it life playing out in its own tricky fashion or (zhooooo zhweeeee zhooooo [that’s my eerie sound effect]) is it a force from beyond? You decide.

1) Since Nov. 15, I’ve lost 10 pounds. I now weigh 186 and my favorite pants won’t stay around my waist but, sadly, slip down on my hips the moment I rise from my aileron desk chair. An unrefined look in the corporate environ, but c’mon…my favorite pants can’t hang isolated in the closet. So from where does this weight loss stem? I’ve not changed my eating or fitness habits and these 10 pounds were shed during the feeding frenzy of the Thanksgiving and Cristmas holiday season. A time in which I didn’t deprive myself of food. What gives?  (I’m not complaining. I most def needed to lost the 10 pounds.)

2) Bizarre things have been popping out of my mouth lately. Seems my brain waves send motor neuron messages to my vocal cords before fully thinking about the thought. Out pop the words only to land on the floor.  This happened a total of 27 times since Christmas (yes, I’ve counted). Most recently, at a work event celebrating my departmental VP’s 40th birthday I heard my voice sharing tips on how to make the most of her long-distance relationship with her boyfriend. Unsolicited advice. That’s a career stopper isn’t it. Damn.

3) I liken myself to being an above average dad on the hipness scale. My 18-year-old daughter, however, disagrees. She continues to shy noisily away from my efforts to stay in touch with her world. And God forbid I show a modicum of care for her in a public place, like her Facebook page.  I don’t creep on her page, much, and I’ve learned never to tag her name to a photo I’ve posted on my page that includes her. When did it become acceptable to just chill with the ‘rentals back when I was a teen?

4) Morrie’s, my Mazda dealer here in the Twin Cities, worked on a squeaky wheel for me back in December. The fix lasted about three weeks. The squeak is back and it’s a complete and utter mystery. It’s a cold-weather-only kind of squeak, but annoying as hell. They replaced bushings and tweaked other parts of the front-end suspension initially. Now I think the only way to rid the car of the squeak is to get rid of the car.

I should stand and stretch after writing and editing this piece. But if I do, well, you know…pants.

-end-

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