Archive for the ‘guffaws’ Category

I’m intolerant today. So…

To the Red River, Fargo, Moorehead – and the two 100-year-floods which happened within six years of each other:

Folks, if you knowingly live in a flood plain, quit your whiney complaining. Your options, as you have known since the time you bought the property included flood insurance, sandbags and flood waters. If standing in your living room waist deep in Red River water is no longer fun for you, simply move.

And, City Fathers of both Fargo and Moore(dunder)head: Who are the Ph.Ds who voted to build a public school in a flood plain. Sheesh. I guess just a few hundred thousand people live in Nort’ Dakota for a reason.



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There’s a dust up of major proportions happening in Philadelphia’s local TV news market. Apparently, Alycia Lane, co-anchor at the CBS affiliate in Philly, traveled to NYC last weekend with her boyfriend. They proceeded to get drunk and, while taking a taxi early Sunday morning, had an altercation with two undercover police officers. Lane allegedly smacked a female officer in the face with her digital camera and called the NYC cop a f-ing dyke. Result: a night in jail, a felony charge for assaulting a police officer, and a two-week “early vacation” from her employer, CBS3.

It gets better.

ALaneSeems Lane has a little mental history of poor social behavior that isn’t quite normal for a typical, high-brow, high-profile television anchor. Last May, for example, she e-mailed photos of herself striking various poses in a bikini while on vacation to a “good friend” of hers. That good friend happens to be male and married. The man’s wife opened the e-mail and had a nice little e-mail exchange with Ms. Lane (who’s been divorced…twice).

Imagine KARE-11’s chief weather guru Belinda Jensen caught up in a row with the Minneapolis PD. Yeah. That’s a stretch. What’s different between the likes of Lane and our own local TV personalities is that those in Pennsylvania and New York City markets have no concept of what “Minnesota Nice” is all about. The City of Brotherly Love can’t keep a snarky TV anchor from throwing a hard right now and then. That, my friends, is good old-fashioned “Philadelphia F-U.” Still, one would think TV anchors would maintain their composure (even if drunk), especially when they’re away from their own back yards.

Just goes to show that while Lane may have the TV anchor look down pat, she’s the epitome of a talking head. Put her in public, throw a couple drinks down her gullet and she fast becomes the rough-around-the-edges, the-world-owes-me-everything New Yorker.

I hear the WWE is taking applications, Ms. Lane. Care to try on professional wrestling?


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