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Posts Tagged ‘personality’

This WebMD article further substantiates my thoughts on the modern-day male being a contradiction in terms. We, as a gender, are truly rolling back the clock in an effort to simply accept ourselves (unibrows and untrimmed toenails included).

Here’s an excerpt:

…the authors of The Future of Men underscore an indisputable fact of life in the U.S. — the concept of masculinity is in flux, leaving many confused about what it means to be a man.

“It was clear that men were questioning the feminization of men,” said Salzman, explaining the origins of The Future of Men.

“We wrote the book to focus on the question, ‘what is the byproduct of 40 years of increased rights for women?’ The instability of the male role model has been a reaction to the rise of equal rights for women.”

This is not the first time in American history that notions of masculinity have shifted.

“It seems like every time the country is in a crisis there’s concern about masculinity,” said Sonya Michel, a history professor at the University of Maryland and the author, with Robyn Muncy, of Engendered America: A Documentary History, 1865 to the Present.

“For example, during industrialization, skilled artisans started losing their jobs and men started to feel they were losing control. Again, during World War II, when it became clear that the U.S. was going to enter the war, people were wondering if American men were up to the task.”

What’s it all mean? According to the book’s authors, it means women are IN DEED looking for men who are comfortable with who they are.

…many men have responded to feminism by repudiating traditional masculine traits — such as strength, assertiveness, and independence — because they fear feminists may find those traits offensive. In an effort to please women, they transform themselves into sensitive, emotionally responsive “nice guys.”

“They constantly ask themselves, ‘how do I make sure the woman is happy and doesn’t get upset with me?'” says Glover, author of No More Mr. Nice Guy.

This “nice guy syndrome,” as he calls it, causes men to hide their masculine nature. And this, according to Glover, often repels women.

“The man believes he’s doing everything right in terms of trying to make the woman happy, but her complaint is, ‘I can’t trust him,'” Glover says. “Men like this are not telling the truth about themselves because they don’t want to upset women, but women walk away feeling that their men have no integrity, no consistency. They say things like, ‘I don’t know what he’s really thinking.’ Women get very frustrated by males who are always seeking to please them.”

And ya’ll thought I was just being facetious!

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In the history of the male species, it’s gotta be the eighth wonder of the world that either the cro-magnon or modern-day male ever managed to secure a relationship with the opposite sex. Our collective grunting, ball-scratching, farting, burping, smelling selves are not an attractive bunch – no matter how much Hi Karate after shave we slather over our sagging pectorals, or how carefully we comb and part the back hair.

To that end, why are women so willing to accept their male counterparts for who we really are in all our filth and glory? Do they realize we prefer to internalize our feelings instead of talk them out? Do they understand that our success as hunter gatherer is only exceeded by our need to ogle and comment out loud about the cleavage we see on other females while trudging through the mall with our spouse or significant other (SO)? Do they really need the male penis or find it even remotely interesting (aside from the obvious primary requirement of having one in order to make a baby, which by the way, has already lost its exclusive rights in that department thanks to modern science)?

We’re a strange lot, we men. I’m often embarrassed by my brethren and the sheer acts of male stupidity that I’ve witnessed, heard about and even instigated. Our ability to show off at precisely the wrong time, say exactly the opposite thing that should be said, and turn away from our mates at just the moment when she needs us the most is…well, it’s innate! Built in. Pre-genetically coded.

What’s most interesting, though, is that even if men made drastic behavioral changes – be it becoming more in tune with their feelings or spending more than five minutes planning a special anniversary dinner – I’m dubious if our stead among women would change for the better.

For all the listening, understanding, comforting, complimenting, and thoughtful attributes a man may adopt, it would likely raise more eyebrows if by some lucky strike of lightning we managed to change our behavioral path. Because as much as men are swine, women are suspicious of behavioral change and have grown accustomed, even – dare I say – accepting, of who we are and all our foible-filled behavior. They will even *cough* fall in love with our endearing jerk-like qualities, because, in the end, they want someone who will protect them from the dangers of the world, someone who will jump in front of the stray bullet, someone who will cold cock a would be Hugh Hefner who comes on a bit too strong when it’s happy hour at the biker bar.

So, gents, go ahead and let one rip at the dining table in a intimate restaurant setting. Then blame it on the table next to you. You’ll not only impress the person sitting across from you, but you’ll likely get several thumbs up from the rest of the men doing their best to nod politely at their SOs.

Oh! The sweet smell of our success!

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